Alien Vehicles

How bad can borrowing a car possibly be?

Based on my experience: Bad. Very, very bad indeed. It all happened on a Friday night over the course of the summer. My sister stopped by and offered to let me take her giant black Dodge Ram out for a night with friends. I agreed because it was big, fierce and intimidating which are three traits I like in a 4-wheeled steel trap of death (that’s what my driving instructor referred as cars back when I was first learning to drive). Stepping into the behemoth I immediately felt like the Terminator. It seemed like I was unstoppable the car was like an impenetrable fortress that can fly 80 mph and completely annihilate anything in its path. After picking up friends and getting ice cream we decided to head to the drive-ins to catch a movie since it was just starting to get dark. As I pulled into the humble little drive-in it became clear to me that maneuvering was a challenge in such a confined space. Finally after what seemed an eternity of weaving in and out of lanes we arrived at a suitable parking spot.

I pulled in and noticed that my lights were on, blinding the poor moviegoers behind us (the bed of the truck was facing the screen). I embarrassingly waved at the couple and hit a switch to turn the lights of. But the switch didn’t turn off the lights. This is when the panic swept in and I realized that I did not know everything there was to know about my big, black, beast. I frantically hit random lights and switches praying that one might turn off the blinding lights but instead all I was rewarded with was frustration. My friend even got out and stood in front of one of the headlights like an idiot out of sheer humiliation for my idiocy.  I hopelessly turned off the car which seemed to be the only sensible solution to my predicament but with the car off we couldn’t hear the movie through the radio. I turned on the truck and once again hurridly tried to find a switch that turned the confounded lights off. By this time my poor victims had vacated the scene and I felt even more embarrassed than before. My spirits were finally lifted when I found the right switch but I still could not help laughing in hindsight of the hilarity of the situation. In summation of my horrible experience: know how to drive the car you are borrowing IN EVERY RESPECT. Driving is more than just braking, parking, and accelerating. It takes a thorough knowledge of all the rudimentary functions no matter what the situation is. Do not tread down my unfortunate road and be another victim to an alien vehicle.

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Welcome to the feed. My name is JP. The JP Feed is designed as a host to a league of stories, thoughts, and wonders from the minds of anyone that either is just perusing through or serious readers that want their voice to be heard. Anything from poetry to art to just humorous anecdotes is highly encouraged. Here our main goal is to satiate our hunger for knowledge and ideas.

Posted on October 26, 2011, in Random/Miscellaneous and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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