The Pain of the Name Game
John. Seems like an average, incorrigible name right? Only to what meets the eye. Unfortunately, there are evil mechanisms in the universe of our language that place degrading puns into the context of our names in the most unexpected ways. “Good job Johnny.” Case in point. Thanks to the existence of portable toilets this name is forever the butt of painful and inextinguishable witticisms. There was a creepy old man who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up, his name was Chester thus it became. I don’t know about you, but that is not the most favorable moniker in the book. Just imagine what his mother would think! There are endless combinations and possibilities to names like “Fat Matt”, “Mean Dean”, or “Smelly Kelly”. Songs also provide as a torturing mode of humiliating someone’s title. Even I can’t help singing “Benny and the Jets” every time I say my friend Ben’s name out loud. Is there some means to end this madness? It’s hard to imagine so but maybe sometime in the future when we are all replaced with robots their numerical names like 454-ST-19, will be free of the pain and anguish our mortal beings have created.